Don’t worry, be happy”.
Such a short phrase, but oh! So famous!
Over the course of the next couple of days, I am going to help you delve deeper into the psychology of true Happiness.
Where does it come from? How is it created? Can anyone be happy, regardless of circumstances? If so, how?
To help you understand and simplify the concept of “happiness”, let’s break it down into an easy-to-remember acronym:
B.E _ H.A.P.P.Y.
Keep your eyes on your mailbox this week. Every day, I will unpack one element to the elusive concept of Happiness. Today, let’s dive right in with the letter “B” (the first letter of our concept – “BE HAPPY”.)
B – Bucket List
I was toying with making “B” stand for “Bravery”.
The more I pondered this concept of “Bravery”, the more I realized that Bravery really goes hand-in-hand with vulnerability.
“How?” you might wonder. Well, Think about some of the elements on your “Bucket List”. Admit it, you have one! Even if it is only in your head. We all have dreams, fantasies, of things we would love to achieve. Things we would love to do. Experience. Learn. Feel.
Why haven’t you done these things yet?
It’s easy to blame it on lack of finance, lack of time, lack of support, or any host of other things, but I dare to venture that, if you were really honest with yourself, it comes down to only one thing:
And what is a different way of describing fear?
Feeling fearful, or scared, really translates into a feeling of complete vulnerability.
The Internet describes vulnerability as follows:
Vulnerable. adjective. Exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. Vulnerability — something many of us avoid due to fear of being judged, hurt or of failure. To be vulnerable means to put ourselves in a position that could potentially hurt us.
And isn’t this exactly why you still have all those un-realized dreams? You’re possibly scared of being judged for going after them. Scared of getting hurt physically, or being disappointed emotionally, after attempting your dream. Are you maybe scared of failing?
And that is why I’m challenging your Bucket List.
A true Bucket List, is a list of GOALS that you have every intention of realizing.
You’ve heard the old cliché – “A goal without a deadline is a fantasy”.
So, do you have a list of fantasies? Or quite possibly, a list of fears?
Today I want to invite you to take a hard, honest look at your Bucket List. If you do happen to come to a realization that you have in fact been putting off many of your dreams due to fear, I want to invite you to be brave, by making yourself vulnerable and admitting it. Awareness is the first step towards change. Awareness is the first element that comes into play when we grow.
Would you dare to be brave enough to be vulnerable?
Acknowledging your own fears can help you make a very powerful decision:
Do you really want to achieve all of the things on your Bucket List? It’s OK to let some of them go! I realized that I had a bunch of “goals” on my own Bucket List, that were really things other people wanted me to want. How crazy is that?
Deleting some inauthentic Bucket List items, is very freeing indeed. Creating this kind of clarity for yourself, further frees you up to focus on the things you really do want. Once you have singled out your true, authentic, OWN dreams,
I invite you to further analyze if you are OK with having fantasies, or if you want to commit these dreams to goals.
Put a date on it. Yes, it’s scary. That’s the point of being vulnerable – it’s really really brave to be vulnerable.
The first step towards Being Happy, is being OK with being vulnerable.
And, being OK with letting some things go. Being OK with wanting what YOU want, and not committing yourself to other people’s expectations of what you “should” want.
Tomorrow, I will share my insights into the next letter of our acronym – “E” (BE HAPPY)